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Lines drawn over Chagrin Falls
(by Barbara Christian - September 03, 2008)
Lines drawn over Chagrin Falls
OK, let's go over this again. Just because your post-office address says you live in Chagrin Falls, that does not necessarily mean you live in Chagrin Falls. A mailing address is one thing, but where you really live -- nice places like South Russell, Bainbridge, Bentleyville and others -- is another.
Think twice before blurting out, "I live in Chagrin Falls," when you do not. Be proud of your real town enough to say you live in South Russell, Bainbridge, Bentleyville or one of the others.
In most cases, misplacing one's real community is not done fraudulently on purpose. Some people really do not know where they live. So here is a simple test so those who are geographically challenged can find out if they really do live in Chagrin Falls:
You are a Chagrin Falls resident if you live on Elm Court, Robens Court or May Court but have a yard so small there's no room for a tennis court.
You are a resident of Chagrin Falls if you live on Low Street, High Street and know that only the north half of South Street is in Chagrin Falls. You also know that all of North Street is in Chagrin Falls, even though it begins as East Orange Street and ends as Russell Road in Russell.
And do you live in Chagrin Falls if that village water and sewer bill comes with an out-of-area surcharge? If you answered no, then give yourself an extra long, hot bath and a big drink of good old Chagrin Falls H2O.
You live in Chagrin Falls if your house is on that part of South Franklin Street that is not in Bainbridge and know that Franklin Park has no physical connection to any part of that schizophrenic street.
It's hard, I know, but let's forge ahead anyway.
You are not a Chagrin Falls resident just because your kids go to Chagrin Falls schools. You could live in South Russell, Bainbridge, Moreland Hills, Hunting Valley, maybe even Russell or anywhere in Bentleyville.
If you can correctly find Maple Lane on a map of the village and do not point to Maple Street, you just may be a denizen of Chagrin Falls.
And where do you live if your home is on the tree streets of Cedar, Pine or Oak? If your answer was Bainbridge, put a star on your forehead.
However, making one's home on Walnut, Olive or Orchard Street makes you not only a tree street resident but a real Chagrinite.
See how easy this is when you get the hang of it?
Let's try a different, non-geographic lesson that will test your real Chagrinite status. It is inspired by famous "redneck" Jeff Foxworthy, so apologies to him in advance.
You may be a real Chagrinite if you say you are a Republican, register as an independent and vote Democratic.
You are not a real Chagrinite if you live on more than one acre, off a dirt road and can see llamas in your neighbor's yard.
And finally, you are probably a Chagrin Falls resident if you order a corned beef sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise and have been banned for life from Corky & Lenny's.
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