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New year should go beyond self
(by Barbara Christian - December 30, 2009)
New year should go beyond self
There is something about a new calendar that makes us think of fresh starts, new beginnings and goals for another year.
Most of the time, these resolutions focus on self. Things like doing what's necessary to get into the jeans that used to fit like a glove but which now fit like a sausage casing.
Altruism is lost in the first-of-the-year promises of a thinner body, nicotine-free lungs or finishing one's memoirs.
There are a few folks out there who manage to think outside themselves -- looking for something they can do that doesn't involve themselves. That was represented by a stranger we met on the street last year in August.
"Here you go," she said, holding out a quarter. She had seen me fumbling in my purse for something with which to feed the parking meter.
"Thanks, I've got one here someplace," I answered.
The disappointment registering on her face suggested that I was about to ruin her day if I didn't accept her gesture. I took the coin and thanked her.
"Now, give that to someone else," she said, nodding toward the quarter I had just dug from the depths of my purse.
"Hey, this is what they call pay it forward, isn't it," I asked her as I deposited the coin in the meter.
"Exactly," she said. Then she gave me a grin and told me she hoped I would have a nice day. I found an expired parking meter and deposited my quarter in the slot. It felt as if I were participating in a do-good society.
So maybe the self-centered approach to new beginnings is not what it's all about. I was reminded of that again this year, when a chronic discomfort from a bad back turned into something more debilitating.
My neighbor must have seen me gracelessly struggling to the curb with my trash container, which was a particular challenge in bad weather.
On those days, he did not ask; he insisted on taking the lumbering container to the curb. Hopefully, he knows the depth of my gratitude and how the world needs more people like him. I will find a way to pass along that kindness.
There are others from whom we can take that lesson. Max and Annie series author Sandy Phillipson uses her talent by volunteering to guide a creative writing class for young patients in the Chronic Pain Program at the Cleveland Clinic.
Mary Hobbs joins in by drawing portraits of each of the writers. The written pieces and Mary's drawings of the kids are put together into published books titled, "Writing Through ..." The books are given to each child.
The pain program has attracted the attention of Chagrin Falls mystery writer Shelley Bloomfield and "Flo and Friends" comic strip creator Jenny Campbell, of Bainbridge. They teach the class about writing and cartooning.
So, what's it going to be this year? Will we face the new year thinking only what we can accomplish for ourselves? Or will we wake up Jan. 1, 2010, and decide this is the year there are worthy resolutions to be made which don't include ourselves alone.
Now, there are some who will say the rush we get from doing something for others is also self-serving. That is what you call a "win-win."
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