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County Line Awards strike again
(by Dave Lange - December 30, 2009)
County Line Awards strike again
Happy New Year! It's time for the 20th annual County Line Awards, recognizing those who make life interesting in the Chagrin Valley and beyond, whether they know it or not.
DEBRIEF-CASE AWARD -- To the absentminded gentleman who returned to a Solon office building to find the place surrounded and the bomb squad checking out the briefcase he had accidentally left behind.
STIMULATOR AWARD -- To U.S. Rep. Steven C. LaTourette, R-Bainbridge, who got credit for $380,000 in federal funding awarded to stimulate a Chagrin Falls entertainment complex, even though he voted against the spending bill that included it.
TEA PARTY AWARD -- To outgoing Bainbridge Trustee Linda White, who stuck to her guns against waging a local income tax on low-wage retail workers to help bail out a financially strapped shopping-center developer.
CONCEALED CARRY AWARD -- To the gambler whose concealed-carry permit was stolen along with $58,000 in cash and $20,000 in valuables by armed robbers who busted in on a Solon poker game, and to the suspect who later was caught carrying the stolen permit.
INFLAMMATORY AWARD -- To Woodmere Councilwoman Lisa Brockwell, whose home was torched by an arsonist after she was the only Village Council member to vocally support the former police chief against vicious political attacks.
SCHOOL BORED AWARD -- To West Geauga School Board member Michael Kilroy for going against the flow, not just by opposing the district's latest tax levy but by buying newspaper ads urging voters to reject it.
LIGHTNING ROD AWARD -- To Geauga County Probate Judge Charles Henry for taking relentless heat from people with axes to grind against the county park district, because his duties include the appointment of the district's board of directors.
POLITICAL TRICKS AWARD -- To supporters of new Solon Mayor Susan A. Drucker who covertly planted the false notion that, if her opponent, former Mayor Robert A. Paulson, were elected, he could not legally perform required duties as the city's safety director.
CULTURE WAR AWARD -- To the Chagrin Foundation for Arts and Culture for daring to host a lecture in which the speakers dared to look at possibilities for the future of Cuba -- prompting an angry outburst from local Cuban expatriates.
DOUBLE DIPPED AWARD -- To Geauga County Recorder Sharon Gingerich, who, upon her election to that office, declared that she also would retain her seat on Burton Village Council. For the record, more knowledgeable authorities set the recorder straight.
WACKY TOBACKY AWARD -- To the Cuyahoga County Sheriff's Department, which dispatched drug agents to an 80-year-old retired firefighter's home in the dark of night because of suspicious lighting he had used for more than a decade to start seedlings for his vegetable garden.
QUITE CONTRARY AWARD -- To defeated Chardon Councilwoman Mary Bramstedt, who was implicated in the alleged leak of city secrets in clandestine meetings with a municipal employee during sensitive labor negotiations.
DOUBLESPEAK AWARD -- To Burton Township Trustee Daniel Whiting, who obsessed that the "whole township could be polluted with signs like in the political season" but insisted that nobody's freedom of speech was limited -- after the county prosecutor informed him that it would be unlawful to do so.
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