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Dogged fashion sense is off track
(by Barbara Christian - February 25, 2010)
WINDOW ON MAIN STREET, BY BARBARA CHRISTIAN
Dogged fashion sense is off track
The gods of serendipity smiled last week when they picked up their New York Times and read that Fashion Week and the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show were being held at the same time.
Under the tents in Bryant Park, high-style models were putting on the dog during spring showing of fashion collections of top designers from around the world.
Meanwhile, a mere nine blocks south in Madison Square Garden, high-born dogs were strutting their stuff in the 134th edition of the prestigious Westminster, which features the best canines from owners and breeders across the country.
Both were all about chic. Chic clothes, chic dogs, chic people. So what's up with those handlers?
If you watched the dog show, you know what we mean. The handlers are top in their field and know their stuff when it comes to showing off their dogs. They just aren't so in showing off their fashion sense, which is somewhere south of nonexistent.
Granted, these fine people spend most of their time in dog-durable duds, so it's understandable that they have no idea of what to pack when it comes time to get all duded up for the big-time show in the Big Apple.
Admittedly, we know next to nothing about dog-show protocol and just a little more than that about fashion, but what we do know is there are a lot of bad dressers in the dog world.
Here's what we saw. We saw too many handlers trying to upstage their dogs. How else do you explain some of those outfits and all those sparkles?
There were bugle beads, sequins, dresses with chiffon streamers, soutache-embellished frocks, way too many 1980s reruns of pure polyester, more tiny pleated hemlines than we could count and an array of colors so bright they can be seen from space.
And those shoes! All those flat shoes that may be good for running around the ring but the kind that makes the slenderest calves look like piano legs.
The judges' fashion choices were just as baffling. For instance, when was the last time you saw gold satin palazzo pants? You could almost hear the groans coming from Bryant Park.
Then there was the judge in the drapery-weight velvet Swarovski studded gown. She could have been an opera diva lost on her way to the Met.
While dogs and high fashion shared the center of attention in New York last week, in the end, it was clear the two worlds had little in common after all. But maybe they could.
Who better to guide and dress than those woeful fashions senseless dog show people than the high-fashion designers?
The fashionistas could stage seminars on such subjects as "Trot the Ring in Four-inch Heels," "P is for Pedigree, not Polyester" and "Lose the Sequins and Let Your Dog Shine."
Westminster folks could return the favor by adding a dash of dog to the runway -- dogs walking the camera gauntlet with models or dogs with models who look like their human counterpart.
I could go on and on, but I won't.
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