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Literacy doesn't cause stupidity
(by Barbara Christian - March 03, 2010)
WINDOW ON MAIN STREET, BY BARBARA CHRISTIAN
Literacy doesn't cause stupidity
As species go, we humans must be stuck on stupid. Why do I say that? Have you read the directives that go along with just about everything we do or use?
No joke. Bet you thought you knew the proper way to use that new toaster you just bought.
Apparently, you do not, because the companies who make small electric appliances think you just can't wait to take one of their products into the bathtub with you.
Electric irons, mixers, blenders, can openers, you name it. If it has a plug, then it also has a warning that goes something like, "Do not attempt to operate in the bathtub."
A toaster in the bath? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose? At the risk of stating the obvious, the whole point of a toaster is to crisp bread, not make it soggy.
Instruction labels are another example of the low opinion manufacturers have of their customers' intelligence.
Here's an oldy but a goody. "Poison -- do not swallow." Talk about stating the obvious.
The ones that really test our patience are the foot lotion and other topically applied medications that warn us against taking them internally. In whose mind is that even a rational or viable option?
Instruction labels, direction signs and appliance warnings are born out of fear of lawsuits. "Look Out!" and "Please don't do that." They are not really meant to help the consumer. They come under the heading "CYA" (cover your ass) in some possible future legal battle.
Remember the lady who sued after she dropped a cup of McDonald's coffee in her lap? Have you been to a McDonald's in the past decade? If so, then you have seen the signs that tell you to be cautious around coffee, because it's hot. Who orders cold coffee? Coffee should be hot, unless it's iced coffee, which McDonald's doesn't have in its beverage repertoire.
My favorite signs are the ones on the front doors of some of our wonderful Chagrin Valley libraries. They may be the product of a Cuyahoga County Library official who decided the signs were necessary to help patrons with an extra steep learning curve.
The signs appeared about the same time those easy-to-open, power-assist doors came into being, but that's no excuse for insulting our intelligence. On the exit doors, the signs read, "Push to operate," and upon entering, we are instructed, "Pull to operate." What next, stickers on the books that tell us, "Open to read"?
These are unnecessary signs, but they are hardly alone in the visual clutter we deal with every day and spend way too much time reading.
Then there are those wacky traffic engineers. They must work day and night thinking of new ways to distract us from the job of driving.
They shout commands every 100 feet or so, and often there are three or four at a time. Look, folks, all we really need to know is the location of the center line and how fast we are allowed to go. The rest we can figure out on our own.
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