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Bullying problem won't walk away
(by Barbara Christian - April 07, 2010)
WINDOW ON MAIN STREET, BY BARBARA CHRISTIAN
Bullying problem won't walk away
You may have read a recent police brief which reported a fight between two teen boys as a crowd of Chagrin Falls Middle School students watched.
A witness called police, and the kids scattered. When everything was sorted out, officers had three juveniles in custody and information that the fight stated over a bullying incident.
The latest information had the three boys being filed on in juvenile court and the school and parents passing additional punishments of their own.
A neat and just ending, but it's not the entire story, because it was not the first bullying incident police were called to settle.
Two weeks earlier, they took a report from a mom who said her son was picked on by an older boy as both waited for their bus. She wanted police to know that it was not the first time her son had been pushed around and she wanted it on the record.
Were these two incidents within a short time span just a coincidence? Or is bullying a growing problem here? Just normal kid stuff, you say? Are the two incidents in a couple of weeks statistically indicative of a growing problem, considering our town's relatively small school population? Were there others that went unreported?
We have more questions than are easily answered. Is zero tolerance of bullying a realistic goal? If so, how should the schools and parents teach and respond to bullying? What should the punishment be? Will it help? Can bullying be used as a teaching moment, something kids live through and come out on the other side wiser for the experience and, hopefully, unscarred physically or emotionally?
Meanwhile, the Internet has shown us that bullying is not only face-to-face confrontation. You Tube and the so-called "social networks" have elevated bullying to a whole different level, because hurtful and vicious things can be said and threats made under cover of anonymity.
While it's admirable for parents and schools to teach nonviolent approaches to living, you have to wonder if it's always practical in real life. Shouldn't we be teaching our kids how to defend themselves and that it is also admirable to stand up for themselves?
Remember how bullying was depicted in the movie "A Christmas Story," when Ralphie finally had enough of the bully Flick and pummeled him into the ground? Who doesn't cheer for the heretofore-picked-upon Ralphie.
But life is not all righteous retribution with a smiley-face ending. In Massachusetts last week, nine teens were indicted for harassing a schoolmate, who, some believe, ultimately took her own life because she saw no way out of the soul-grinding meanness and physical abuse.
So what do we do we do about it? Do we teach our children that they are turn-the-other-cheek powerless, because the big, mean, strong always win?
Is it enough to tell them their school has a zero-tolerance philosophy toward the bullies? Or do we tell them every action has a reaction and, like the fictional Ralphie, they need to fight back to try to save their skin and salvage their self-esteem?
Bullying is a problem worth the conversation. We should have it and before, God forbid, we have our own Massachusetts incident.
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