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Restore decorum to observance
(by Barbara Christian - May 27, 2010)
WINDOW ON MAIN STREET, BY BARBARA CHRISTIAN
Restore decorum to observance
"Well, what do you intend to do about Memorial Day?" Miss Demeanor screamed into the phone. Miss D, you may recall, is my devil's advocate and sometimes one of my better angels. Not this day, however.
"What do you mean, what am I going to do? I will write the Memorial Day preview story for the Times, and on May 31 I'll stand on South Franklin Street and wave as the parade passes by."
"Not enough," she said. "You need to do an expose."
Hmmmm. Not sure there is anything to expose. The parade and cemetery ceremonies have gone on and have been exactly the same as long as I can remember, thanks to the American Legion, Veterans of Foreign Wars and Chagrin Falls Eagles Club. They do it with very little manpower and even less money.
"They should be honored, not exposed," I told Miss Demeanor.
"Not the veterans, you ninny," Miss D said. "It's everyone else."
"You know what John-Paul Sartre said about that, don't you?" I ventured. "He said, 'Hell is other people.'"
"Sartre Schmartre," she growled. "Your newspaper needs to take a stand about the entitled and imperious ones who act dishonorably on a day that is all about those who gave their lives so they can freely act imperiously and dishonorably. I want you to take their names and kick butt by printing them."
"There isn't enough ink," I jested. This is also the part where I told her she was nuts if she thought the paper would publish names of miscreants who act miscreantly.
"Calm down. We aren't going to name names unless they get arrested, and what the heck are you talking about anyway?" I asked.
"You mean rudeness isn't an arrestable offense and you can't get charged for acting like a boor?" she asked.
"Not the last I checked, and, if they did, we'd fill the jails," I added.
"Well, perhaps your editor should write an editorial about making acting like an ass an offense punishable by being put in stocks in Triangle Park." She was clearly out of control at this point.
"Remember the kinder and gentler days?" she asked a bit calmer, a touch of nostalgia in her voice.
I confessed barely remembering last week.
"Well, back when people were mannerly and civil, they watched the parade in reverence then waited until the last Cub Scout passed before falling into line for the walk to the cemetery.
"Now, they walk across and in between the units and right up next to the line of march, and that is wrong. What has happened to common sense, good manners and a sense of decorum?" she said, the litany continuing from there.
"They sit when the flag goes by, they talk on cell phones, and they bring their dogs to the cemetery!" Miss Demeanor shouted. "Do you know what dogs do?" she asked in a way that did not require my response.
"They bark during the speeches, and they 'go' wherever and whenever they feel like it. You and your paper need to call them out, embarrass them into acting right."
Then she was gone but not before slamming the phone down in my already throbbing ear.
Have a proper and decorous Memorial Day everyone.
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