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Anniversary plus one makes it even better
(by Christine Thome - August 11, 2010)
BEYOND MY CONTROL, BY CHRISTINE THOME
Anniversary plus one makes it even better
Yesterday, my husband, John ,and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Some of you may want to send congratulation cards, others sympathy notes. Regardless, we have made it this far, and we plan to keep going for at least another 20 years. As I tell John, we have to stay together, because he's the only who can put up with me and I'm the only one who can put up with him.
But if yesterday marks our 20th anniversary, then today marks our 20th anniversary plus one day. And, even more important than the number of years, I think it's that "plus one day" that means the most to any relationship, whether it's a marriage, parental, sibling, friendship or work relationship.
That's one more day that you can completely change a relationship -- for better or for worse. In one day, you can choose to:
Forgive a long-standing grudge. Or let it hold you in its suffocating grasp.
Listen without judging. Or judge without listening.
Put the needs of others before yourself. Or put yourself before the needs of others.
Encourage another to go beyond his or her comfort zone. Or maintain the status quo because it's comfortable for you.
Celebrate the positives, especially the very small achievements. Or concentrate on the negatives, especially the very petty things.
Too often, we wish we had that one extra day when a friend or loved one is gone forever. But if you're reading this column, then you are very much alive, and you have the opportunity to make the most of one more day.
This "plus one day" shouldn't be your bucket list. This is not what you want to experience before dying; it's what you want to experience while you are living.
You don't need to plan an expensive European vacation, but you could plan a romantic picnic with cheeses from France and wine from Italy.
You don't need to skydive from a plane, but you could show your kids how to do the perfect cannon ball before the summer is over.
You don't need to own a fancy sports car, but you could offer to drive a neighbor to a doctor's appointment.
You don't need to work 20 hours a day to become the wealthiest person in the world, but you could become the richest person in the world when you stop what you're doing to spend one-on-one time with a child or grandchild.
You don't need to travel to a Third World country to make the world a better place to live, but you could volunteer at a local animal shelter or children's organization to make a world of difference in a single life.
You can't change hurtful words or deeds that have been said or done in the past, but you can begin to move forward by saying, "I'm sorry."
You can't promise to give another person the entire world, but you can promise to try to be the best spouse, parent or friend every single day. And "try" is the key word here. Some days are certainly better than others, but the point is that you make a concerted effort to try. As long as you have one more day, you have one more chance to keep on trying.
Happy anniversary to the most wonderful husband, father and friend in the world! I love you forever plus one day.
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