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New plates license for ridicule
(by Dave Lange - January 18, 2012)
COUNTY LINE, BY DAVE LANGE
New plates license for ridicule
When Gov. John Kasich announced a new design for vehicle license plates in November, I thought it was plain ugly and somewhat stupid. I now have no doubt in my mind.
Two key elements of the design are a bright red wedge across the top, presumably representing a wing, reiterating Ohio's dubious claim to fame as the "Birthplace of aviation," and a hodgepodge of some 30 or 40 barely discernible slogans.
I have no problem with honoring Orville and Wilbur Wright, who are recognized as the inventors of the airplane and who lived and died in Dayton but actually flew in North Carolina more than a century ago. Honestly, doesn't Ohio have anything more current going for it that might create a beckoning image to other motorists we encounter during our travels?
Actually, that was the objective of a colorful new license plate introduced in 2009 with the slogan, "Beautiful Ohio," a bucolic farm scene, rolling hills, silhouette of a big city and a biplane flying overhead, all beneath shimmering sunshine.
Maybe it had something to do with former Ohio first lady Frances Strickland helping with its design, or maybe the new governor just doesn't think Ohio is that beautiful, but, apparently, something had to give.
Not only does the new design give way to the traditional ugliness of Ohio license plates, but it has given way to the nutty notion that just about anybody can make an official statement on the bumpers of our cars. And so the governor and his overpaid staff invited citizens to submit their own ideas for what some of those 30 or 40 messages should say that nobody will read.
According to the results released last week, the vast majority think the word God should be among those unreadable slogans. Most especially, they like our state motto, "With God, all things are possible," which could be true, if you think it's possible for a Democrat to get elected from most of the state's new congressional districts. "Ohio, the gerrymander state."
Personally, I don't think God cares about license plates or politics, and he couldn't care less about football, which is another matter of stupidity that has been making the rounds recently.
Football also happens to be a favored subject among the 400,000 responses the state received on potential license lingo. Unfortunately, many of them referenced the kind of football that became associated with Ohio's largest university this past year, and they were not necessarily complimentary. "Ohio, the tattoo state."
Some years ago in this space I complained about the state requirement that county names be affixed to our license plates. I pointed out that Licking, Hocking and the like may be nice places, but their names did not convey very positive messages. "Ohio, the drooling state."
I remember the days when we got new license plates for our cars every year. They didn't have any fancy designs or slogans, but they did change colors. Nowadays, we still pay to register our vehicles each year, but all we get are crummy stickers that coincide with our months of birth. If you want new plates, the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles charges you extra. "Ohio, the cheapskate state."
My old plates are getting so tarnished that the numbers are hard to decipher, which seems to be pretty consistent with the shady ideas coming out of Columbus these days. "Ohio, the Rust Belt state."
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