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Thinking about stress is too stressful
(by Timmy Sullivan - April 18, 2012)
SENIORITIS, BY TIMY SULLIVAN
Thinking about stress is too stressful
So how are you doing today? Things going OK? Feeling pretty mellow? Keeping that stress under control? Well, I'm glad to hear it. Because if you were stressed about, say, the guy who cut you off in traffic or the barista who messed up your drink order, to say nothing of your daughter's spring break trip to Mexico with that guy or the latest stock market tumble -- that stress, according to Yale University scientists, is actually eating your brain.
Yup, as it turns out, Tums aren't going to cut it. Forget the nervous stomach. What you need to worry about is the hormones triggered by whatever is bothering you chomping away at your brain tissue. As Houston neuroscientist David Eagelman so eloquently put it, "Stress is literally chewing miniature holes in your brain, which is kind of terrible."
Yup, I guess so. But wait, there's more. The hippocampus, it seems, is the most vulnerable to those cannibalistic hormones. That's not good, since the hippocampus, which controls learning and memory, is apparently considered to be the most important part of the brain for everyday functioning.
"One definitely wants to have a functioning hippocampus," says Stanford University scientist Robert Sapolksy. When you're stressed, Sapolsky warns, "you get neurons dying, shriveling up and losing connections. It's all really bad news." I get it. I get it.
If I wasn't stressed before, I am now. The truth is, stress is my constant companion. I've always kind of accepted it, but now I'm wondering how I manage to function at all. And, of course, now, the biggest thing stressing me out is -- you guessed it -- my stress.
Happily, the experts have some advice for me. Here's what I'm supposed to do. 1. Exercise. Like I have time for that. 2. Practice yoga or medication. No comment. 3. Stop ruminating. Come on. Every time I try to meditate, I end up ruminating. 4. Change my environment. Like I'd be able to sell my house in this economy.
5. Have a support system. Good advice, but my friends are all too stressed to get together. 6. Sleep. Seriously, that's when I do my best ruminating, although I do find that a couple of hours of mindless sitcoms help. Did you know you can watch two episodes of "Friends," followed by "Big Bang Theory" and "Seinfeld" between 10 p.m. and midnight?
This whole topic is stressing me out. Honestly, I swear I can feel those hungry hormones digging into my frontal lobe. Or maybe I need new glasses. I think I'll just go with that.
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