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Parents of addicts can take back life
(by Joan Demirjian - September 19, 2012)
Parents of addicts can take back life
Counselors to teach course via Skype
By JOAN DEMIRJIAN
With drugs becoming readily available and addictions on the rise, more families are dealing with addicts.
Ellen Bishko and Roy Nichols, addiction counselors, have taught the course “Take Back Your Life” and are conducting it for the first time via Skype to eager participants in Maine. They are teaching from South Franklin Circle retirement community in Bainbridge.
The program is for parents who are dealing with adult-age addicted sons and daughters. Locally, the program gave rise to the Parents of Addicted Adult Children (PAAC) support group founded by Russell Township residents John and Nikki Corrigan, who host and lead monthly PAAC meetings at their home.
The Corrigans took the six-week course in 1999 during the height of daughter Elizabeth’s heroin addiction and established the PAAC group because of the great need. The couple coordinated the Skype course, which is being taught just as it is done locally, with Carol Vose of Maine.
Mrs. Vose, whose son is in treatment, learned about the course and called the Corrigans for assistance in developing the program and a support group that they will help organize.
“She felt a need to do something and is trying to get started using our curriculum, and we are training and backing her,” Mr. Corrigan said. “There is a great need for this kind of program to assist parents dealing with these issues.”
The concern with addiction issues is not going away, he said. “We must continue to address the subject. We can’t ignore it.”
Mrs. Bishko, a longtime licensed chemical dependency counselor, social worker and course co-leader of “Take Back Your Life,” said this is the first time anyone has taught the course via Skype.
Parents who take the class are from the 40s to the 70s and often have sons and daughters 40 or older. Typically, they won’t stop taking care of their children, no matter what age, and a lot of them develop illnesses from the stress.
“It’s tough for parents,” she said. “As with any situation, you focus on the son or daughter, and you lose sight of taking care of yourself. It’s a unique issue faced by parents and that’s who we are helping.”
The program helps the parents start taking care of themselves, Mrs. Bishko said, but it’s difficult to pull back. “It’s a co-dependency with the parents, who keep giving money to their children. Maybe it is time to stop.”
Attempting to control the behavior of someone else doesn’t work, according to Mrs. Bishko. In some cases, it might be better to let a son or daughter go to jail if it comes to that, Mr. Corrigan said.
The course is about helping people take back their lives and learning to start living their lives for themselves, Mrs. Bishko noted.
Mr. Nichols, who previously owned Reed Nichols Funeral Home in Chagrin Falls, is a licensed counselor in drug and alcohol issues and a licensed social worker. He was a counselor at Glenbeigh, a Cleveland Clinic treatment facility in Rock Creek.
He and Mrs. Bishko have taught three previous programs for “Take Back Your Life” in the greater Cleveland area.
Sadly, parents get totally involved in taking care of addicted adult children, according to Mr. Nichols. They pay their rent, make car payments and buy them groceries in many cases. In one case, a parent was working two jobs to support an addicted adult offspring.
Addictions can vary, from drugs and compulsive gambling to shopping, spending or eating, according to Mr. Nichols. The consequences can be devastating.
The course involves a group approach with adults in a circle who provide support to each other. “All the action takes place among themselves.”
Skype has turned out to be an invaluable tool to work with the group in Maine, Mr. Nichols said.
Mr. Nichols and Mrs. Bishko will teach the course locally Thursdays from Nov. 1 through Dec. 13, except for Thanksgiving, at Church of Our Saviour, 2537 Lee Road, Cleveland Heights. The course is $150 for one person or $225 for a couple. Financial aid is available.
For more information, email johnhcorrigan@gmail.com or call 440-840-0177.
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