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Kindness even better when it's not random
(by Christine Thome - March 26, 2009)
BEYOND MY CONTROL, BY CHRISTINE THOME
Kindness even better when it's not random
This Sunday, March 29, is "Random Acts of Kindness Day." However, I think the name is somewhat misleading.
By definition, random means without pattern or lacking regularity. If we know we should perform good deeds on March 29, then our acts aren't random -- they're planned, or, at the very least, expected. Maybe the day should be called, "Do at Least Three Nice Things for Someone Else, Even if You Don't Really Want to, Day!"
Regardless, being kind -- whether it's planned, forced or spontaneous -- is a good thing to celebrate every day.
March 29 is also my sister-in-law Colleen Kennedy's 40th birthday, and she is one of the kindest people I know. Coincidence? I think not!
Maybe that wasn't too kind of me to announce to thousands of people that it is Colleen's 40th birthday, but she's so kind, I know she'll forgive me.
And maybe forgiveness is another aspect to this "Random Acts of Kindness Day."
Last night, as we finished eating our take-out Chinese, I fought my son for the last fortune cookie. For a brief moment, I thought his idea of "We'll share; you get the fortune, Mom, and I get the cookie!" was a good idea. Until I realized that a piece of paper was not going to be nearly as tasty nor filling as a fortune cookie, but he had already popped the entire cookie in his mouth. He obviously still has a lot to learn about kindness and sharing.
Looking at one side of the tiny slip of paper, I learned how to say, "Where is the bathroom," in Chinese and was told my lucky number is 16. But it was the other side of the fortune that really made me pay attention. Appropriately enough for a Chinese dinner, it was a quote from Confucius that read, "Forget injuries, never forget kindness."
That's a pretty bold and timeless statement, especially since it came from a guy who was born in 551 B.C.
I looked across the table at my son as he continued to chew his fortune cookie. Crumbs of cookie littered his face and fell out of his mouth as he grinned triumphantly at me. My first instinct was to yell at him for making a mess and not sharing, but then I remembered what Confucius said and decided to let the entire issue go.
My silent acceptance of the situation obviously made an impression on him, because, as I began to clear the dishes, he suddenly pitched in without being asked. In the kitchen, he even gave me a hug and thanked me for the dinner. Trust me, I will remember that hug a lot longer than I will remember a missed fortune cookie.
We all want to be remembered for the kind and gracious things we do in our lives, not the petty, stupid mistakes we all make. I'm all for random acts of kindness, but I think we should also consciously participate in random acts of forgiveness.
We can start by forgiving the idiot talking on her cell phone while she drives. Forgive the paper boy for throwing the newspaper in a mud puddle -- again. Forgive the person holding up the grocery line because she has 25 coupons and insists on paying with a check. Forgive the kid in the drive-through who forgot your fries. Forgive your husband for being late. Forgive your family for being -- well, your family.
Just as random acts of kindness do as much, if not more, good for the giver as they do for the receiver, forgiveness might also be viewed as a selfish act for the incredible sense of peace it can give to the giver. Think of forgiveness as a gift you give to yourself, because it allows you to put the grudges aside, discard the negative energies and move on to bigger and better things.
Please don't wait until March 29 to start your random acts of kindness and forgiveness, and, most importantly, don't stop on March 30.
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