Sports
FIFTH QUARTER
Underdog Cavs seek to slice up Celtics
By BARRY GOODRICH
Who knew that the Cavaliers' catch phrase "Rise Up" really referred to pizza dough?
Some of you may already be in line at a local Papa John's pizza joint as we speak. I mean, even if you have to pump $60 worth of gas into the car you can still pick up a large, one-item pizza for a mere 23 cents.
That 23, of course, being the number of the one and only LeBron James, who will take his pie with a triple (cheese) double (sausage).
You would think all the talk would be about a second-round playoff series against the dreaded Boston Celtics. Instead, Cavs fans are flocking to a pizza palace for some cheap eats.
A nice public relations blunder by the Papa John's people, by the way. A Washington-area franchise came up with those "Crybaby" T-shirts for game 6 last week and the result was the Wizards being tossed aside like burnt crust.
Somebody didn't stop to realize that there were also franchises in the Cleveland area. You could say the promotion really didn't pan out. So, today, let's have some pizza while we watch the Cavs and Celtics.
Yes, this playoff series will feature players who make a lot of dough. Boston has the Big Three of Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. Cleveland has LeBron and some other guys.
At least that's the way Celtic fans are looking at the series. You can be sure the Celtics will hound James like the Wizards did, hopefully with fewer felonious assaults.
I can see the promos already...announcers will retell the tale of Celtic greatness. Bob Cousy, Bill Russell, John Havlicek, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale and cigar-chomping Red Auerbach.
Yeah, we know all about the 16 NBA titles. We also know they haven't won one since 1986.
We especially remember that glorious game 7 at the Richfield Coliseum back in 1992. It was Miracle of Richfield II as the Cavs, playing before a maniacal gathering, eliminated the hated Celtics in Bird's final game.
Seems like only yesterday.
I also remember a home game earlier in the series when Boston pulled out a last-second victory. A smug McHale, his arms raised to the sky, taunted fans on his way off the court and was awarded with a beer in his face.
If that happened today, the players would have jumped into the seats, followed by coaching staffs and security details. Fuses were somewhat shorter in those days.
Things get a little rough during the playoffs. The NBA winks at this and then is later horrified when the world's greatest athletes morph into America's most wanted.
Let's cut to the chase -- the national media is positively drooling over the prospect of a Celtics-Lakers championship series. Sure, people love to watch LeBron but a lot more people will love Kobe going up against Garnett. Us older folks will remember Russell going up against Wilt or Magic taking on Bird.
Do you really think the NBA front office wants Cleveland back in the NBA Finals? After last year's debacle?
This should be more than enough motivation for the Cavs, who closed out the Wizards on the road and will have to win on the road again against Boston. The only problem is, the Celtics lose at home about as often as Paris Hilton reads a book.
Boston did need seven games to get past the lowly Atlanta Hawks, who made it into the playoffs due to the fact that the remainder of the Eastern Conference was busy losing to each other. This was either a wake-up call or a sign that the Celtics may be talented but they are old.
At least the Cavs won't have to deal with creaky old Boston Garden, which has been replaced with a squeaky-clean new Garden. At the old place, rats fell from the rafters and the air was about as healthy as Beijing in August.
The Boston Garden's court, unsuitable for a CYO game, became immortalized as if it possessed magic qualities. The truth was that the Celtics simply had better players all those years.
It must be said that those great Boston teams were fun to watch. They actually played basketball the way it was intended to be played, with fastbreaks, pinpoint passing, superb shooting and boring fundamentals such as rebounding and foul shooting.
This was well before the current era of ultimate fighting, flagrant fouling and timeouts featuring mascots jumping through rings of fire.
Did I mention the insanely loud music and light shows that would have made Pink Floyd flee the building?
Here's one vote for a series with real basketball. Let the trash talk take a walk. Time for some skill instead of skull-cracking.
As usual, Cleveland is an underdog. This despite the fact that the team won the Eastern Conference title last season. If LeBron stays healthy and Boobie Gibson shoots 50 percent from the arc, things could get interesting when the Cavs come home Saturday night and then again on Monday evening.
Who knows? If they win, LeBron might even spring for the pizzas.
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